Adventures in Mama-Land

  My mother has a joke.  Maybe you’ve heard it before? So a guy goes to the doctor.  Says, “Doctor, it hurts when I go like this.” And the doctor says, “So don’t go like that.” This was almost literally my conversation today, with my second orthopedist this month, about the unbearable pain in my right foot. My problem is that it only hurts when I’m barefoot.  Put on a pair of shoes and I’m Wonder Woman.  I leave everybody in my dust.  Take them off… and I’m Little Red Riding Hood’s grandma, barely able to get out of bed. This pain has a name:  PTTI.  That’s its name in Hebrew, too.  Posterior Tibial Tendon Insufficiency.  Don’t Google it; the pictures are horrific and mine really isn’t that bad (see below).  Basically, it means that the flat feet I’ve had my whole life have bottomed out completely.  So today I met with Ortho #2, Specialist Foot Ortho Guy.  Ortho #1 was a regular ortho, non-specialist.  Both v...

So this is a whirlwind of impressions from the last whirlwind 5 days of travel…  I just want to get some thoughts down before Life gets in the way.  First of all, if you’re visiting this blog for the first time and met me at the conference… Hi!  I apologize to everybody; I was operating at 40% of my normal energy level for most of the weekend, and I hope it didn’t show too badly. In chronological order… here are my memories of the weekend: - Friday, erev Shabbos:  Arrive late due to bus driver malfunction (he had to be hauled off in an ambulance).  By the time we get to Baltimore, I am sick and miserable and exhausted with what is perhaps the worst headache of my life (partly due to caffeine deprivation but mainly not).  Meet blog-world friend Michelle , who I’ve seen at the last 2 conferences.  This year, she brought her daughter, Froggy (not her real name, though it would be cute), aged 7 (almost 8), and she and Naomi tentatively meet each other....

Easy, quick science exploration to go along with the building-a-rainbow one that didn’t work. This doesn’t really demonstrate any of the scientific principles we’ve been learning about (“all colours of light are contained within white light”), but it’s easy and quick and a bit impressive to watch.  You could use it for an art class on colour mixing, as well.  (here’s another quick and easy colour-mixing art project we did a while back) Scroll down to see the steps here (“Milk and Rainbows”). And here’s the one that didn’t work, which we got from Mr Q Science, but which I looked up online because he doesn’t give a picture.  Looks quick and easy, and we even have a big glass pan.  But our flashlight is the wrong kind – it has several smaller LEDs instead of one big steady beam.  It doesn’t cast a light beam so much as emit unfocussed pale light in every possible direction.  :-( (and it’s the only one in the house that I could find) I’m trying to tea...

This was a first for me, though they are apparently popular in the non-Jewish world, known as either Jello Jigglers or Knox Blox, depending on which brand of gelatin you use to make them.  Also, I think knox blox are sometimes made with pure fruit juices, which I guess makes them a totally healthy alternative, which mine weren’t. I used four packs of Kolatin kosher gelatin dessert (comparable to Jello, and the only brand that uses real gelatin – don’t ask me how or why it’s pareve…), two of cherry and two of lime (but you could mix-n-match any flavours you like!), mixed with 2 1/2 cups of boiling water (the package directions call for 2 cups of water per package, so this is just over 1/4 the total water of the regular recipe). I let it sit overnight.  In the morning, it was WAY firm and ready to press cookie cutters into.  I sprayed the “sharp” edge of the cookie cutters with a bit of oil because I didn’t want any trouble with the letters not releasing, and most of them...

The nice thing about being laid up seems to be getting some reading done… The Virgin Cure , by Ami McKay – I was nervous about this because it’s a second novel, a follow-up to the wonderful The Birth House .  There was no need to fear – it’s a rollicking, grimly fascinating exploration of the seamy underbelly of late 18-th century New York City… from a writer in Nova Scotia. (the “cure” refers to the mistaken, foolish and often-desperate belief, held by all strata of society, that relations with an unspoiled young woman would cure syphilis) The Dirty Life , by Kristin Kimball – yet another read in the garden-memoir genre that brought you Amy Stewart’s From the Ground Up , Novella Carpenter’s Farm City , Keith Stuart’s It’s a Long Road to a Tomato and who could forget Josh Kilmer-Purcell’s The Bucolic Plague . (admission:  I loved the book but can never remember the title, and every time I think of it, I have to Google “gay men farming,” which I am ashamed to admit does t...

Now that Naomi’s learning that some words are more complicated than others, with hidden letters and non-phonetic syllables, her spelling hasn’t necessarily improved, but it’s definitely gotten more complicated. Yesterday, in the middle of four long, involved interviews and making Shabbos, I messed up my back pretty badly and all I could do was sit at the computer playing Solitaire (in a previous era, I would have taken to my bed, but honestly, the computer chair was the most comfy thing!). We’ve been so very busy that the prospect of a day off was a treat for the kids and they promptly and wonderfully went off and did their own thing.  They played outside for a while, then built train tracks in the basement together.  Then Naomi came up and asked for paper to do a “collage.” This sheet of “scool werkc” is what she came up with, and it took her a good long time, giving me tons of peace and quiet.  Click the picture to see more detail.  It includes (clockwise f...

Why the weird dates? Click here to find out!  Exhausted… hope you like Pecan Pie!!!   Too tired to sit upright much longer, and my throat is starting to feel like something painful is going on that I ought to pre-empt with sleep, so I’m just going to shut down the computer and end this post with a link to the pecan pie steps and photos from erev Shabbos:  here’s my delicious pecan pie .

What is it exactly that everybody loves?  Why, a PARADE !!! Yup, it’s Irish Day again in the T-dot! Okay, everybody now:  yell at me all at once now about what a big hypocrite I am for not celebrating Valentine’s Day , which is of dubious spiritual origins, while taking my kids out to a parade for what is unquestionably a Catholic religious holiday. I’m sick and miserable anyway, so why the heck not tear me to pieces??? In any event, it was tons of fun, I’m glad we went – despite ongoing unseasonably cold weather.  Highlights include Gavriel Zev shouting, “Look!  It’s a person from Ancient Egypt!” at the sight of this bearded super-tall St. Pat. Previous parades: One ROYALLY sizzling day Six-Word Saturday: 16 Tammuz, 5770 (depressing Highway of Heroes Parade) Who doesn't love a parade???   (2 years ago) In other news: Tonight as she was going to bed, Naomi Rivka said, “Camp is Latin for ‘without your parents.’” Yup – it’s def...

As seen at Eglinton and Glen Cedar, on the way to shul… this keeps popping up, ie I keep forgetting it until I pass by and it bugs me anew.  Today, I was lucky enough to have my camera phone (and, yes, it was worth it to pay the data charges to email the picture to myself, so don’t even ask). What’s the problem?  Well, if you have to ask… seriously, my problem is – where’s your other parent???  Are they assuming one parent died?  That’s a risky assumption, because sometimes none, or both, are gone.  Or maybe they’re divorced, and only one has enough room for you?  How sad.  Maybe you just don’t get along with the other parent, but again – how sad. My guess is that whoever wrote this billboard is just plain grammar-dumb, and had no idea the “dangling apostrophe” could ever be correct:  your parents’ house.  It does look kind of naked and alone, hanging off the word like that, but if you are a condo person, I assure you – it is neverthel...

In Chaim Potok’s My Name is Asher Lev , the artist (Asher Lev) searches for a metaphor with which to depict his mother’s pain, waiting at the window for his father to return.  The metaphor he ends up with is a controversial one:  a crucifixion. My metaphor here is the Stations of the Cross.  Each stop distinct and recognizable along the descent into sorrow.  Does Judaism even have anything paralleling this metaphor? Everything, this week, is about Two Years Ago. Two years ago, today or tonight or tomorrow night, because – due to travel time mix-ups and vagaries of the Jewish date – there’s probably no good way of knowing.  Does it matter?  No, except I really want to know. Sunday evening, supper at my parents’ house:  15 Teves, until sunset.  Sent the kids in to say goodbye to Zeidy.  He had a lot of instructions, money to send to his uncle in Bnei Brak; he was writing everything down, very shakily, on the back of a tattered paper. ...

PLEASE JOIN US! If you teach your kids at home, please add your blog to comments section below! Other “weekly memes” I participate in that may or may not interest you: Six Word Saturday Menu Plan Monday If you haven’t seen this month’s Jewish homeschooling blog carnival yet, please check it out!!! I should just begin every single one of these posts with “I’m sick. It’s noon on Thursday. I’m sorry this is late.” But I won’t – starting next week! So here’s a retrospective on what a friend just referred to as our “unschooling week.” I think “not-schooling” is more accurate… and not to be confused with not learning ! Sunday: Preparation for Royal Winter Fair: farm animals matching and copywork Monday: Morning: Field trip!!! Davening Skipped swimming to go to the… Royal Winter Fair (with our family friend, Judy) Evening Forgot about ballet class – oops! Science: Watched 20 minutes of...

Sitting inside, especially when I’m sick, it always looks so grim outside; I look out the window and just want to hunker down under a blanket. It’s a vicious cycle; I should know that by now.  Our house is SO chilly, damp and poorly-lit that I then continue to sit, feeling more and more miserable – and taking it out on anybody who happens to be around. Finally, around 11:30 this morning, after a very late davening (I couldn’t stop sneezing!) and snacktime, I announced that we were going for a walk. Got everybody bundled – pants, socks, shoes, jackets, hats (albeit summer hats)… even gloves for myself – and arrived outside to discover THE MOST GLORIOUS DAY.  It was not only far sunnier outside than it was inside (doh!) but actually about five degrees WARMER (we have an older house, and the walls do a pretty good job of insulating – something that’s very welcome in the summertime when the house stays pretty cool). I grabbed a rake and cleared off the front lawn, while th...

Hope you clicked here expecting to find out how us homeschool mamas deal with a sick day because here’s the fun part… we DON’T!  Or at least, I don’t. Ted had to work, as usual, and honestly, I wasn’t feeling too terrible when he went out this morning.  To be fair, I was curled up in bed at the time… who has time for symptoms when they’re peacefully dozing?  My throat did hurt all night, but I can live with that.  The rest kind of crept up on me over the course of a busy day and now I am woozy, achey and my throat hurts like crazy.  Hoping this ibuprofen will kick in soon! But enough kvetching, because the good thing is – I don’t have to cook (for tonight, at least)!  Yay! We’re invited to a neighbourhood kabbalas Shabbos and potluck in honour of Shlomo Carlbach’s yahrzeit.  It is graciously hosted by friends who expanded their home a couple of years ago so they can accomodate a 40+-person crowd.  They’ve had a few (four?) potlucks so fa...

I’m sick and tired today. And instead of watching TV, like many people, I’m window-shopping online.  I don’t really think I’m sick, because I have steadily improved with every passing hour.  Which means it’s just our general “home-sickness” – the sneezy, malaise-y allergy feeling three out of six of us get when they walk through the door of our house. But I am definitely window shopping. Who knew you could cook pasta in the microwave?  Apparently, very good pasta, at least according to 186 rave reviews on Amazon.com.  Not in the original “ Pasta Boat ” that I was lured in by from an infomercial on YouTube.  No, apparently, that thing is terrible.  But the Fasta Pasta, on the other hand, really seems to work. So who would want to cook pasta in the microwave? I’m thinking this would make a terrific gift for Elisheva.  It takes about the same amount of time as on the stovetop, only without the fire aspect of things and without the search for:...

Ted working; still sick.  Blah.  Blah.

Okay, I’m stuck.  In a rut.  No inspiration.  What will we have for Shabbos?  (yeah, I know it’s 1 p.m. and Shabbos is in only 6 hours) UPDATE:  Alright, it’s now 7:00 p.m. and I am changing this to list our FINAL Shabbos food items before shutting down for the next 25 hours! Dinner? Challah (Maggie Glezer’s Breadsmith Challah recipe) Soup (didn’t bother making it because we have so much frozen) w/kneidlach Mommy is making duck – I hope she saves the fat because I was just told that Duck-fat roasted small potatoes is the most delicious thing to have on the side Broccoli & potato kugel Corn Desserts Lunch? Turkey meatballs heated up w/s&s dipping sauce Cholent Slicey meats Urgh; is everything meat???  Can we not have some veggies in this meal? Okay, I’m happy bc Ted made Green beans Desserts Dessert(s)? Yes, we have some!  Lemon cake – from a mix, with real lemon juic...

In case of ice cream too frozen to scoop: Hack at outer wrapping mercilessly with sharp knife until it yields.  Peel packaging off in great primordial chunks and toss in whatever bin is closest.  Eat.  Enjoy.   As with cocktails, I feel like 7:30 p.m. is somehow too early to be eating ice cream.  But Ted’s at his pottery class, YM went to learning, and Elisheva took the little kids out to the park (in return for a library book she’s been bugging me for weeks to get her!).  So I am all by myself, here, sick with a miserable runny-nose cold – the very worst kind.  In the rare and deafening silence that descended on the house when the kids left, I heard the ice cream calling to me plaintively from the downstairs freezer… where it indeed was much too cold to scoop.  Ergo, the sharp knife. p.s.  This is NOT  my favourite Ben & Jerry’s flavour (that would be chocolate fudge brownie), but any port in a storm.

Stand up from an hour and a half of sitting & writing (Really!  I really was writing!  No farmville whatsoever!), go downstairs, and POW!  A world of pain! I seem to have {whatevered} my {whatever}.  I’m not quite sure where the pain is… it seems to be everywhere.  Back?  Maybe tailbone ?  Where I sit?  Maybe I sprained it? So now I am bent over as I hobble about preparing supper, a sprained, pathetic martyr to Pesach, to sleeplessness, to stress, to my family.

I have to say, Gavriel Zev is the most SAVAGE nurser I have ever had, and he is not getting any better with age. He doesn’t bite, but what he does instead is grab the other nummy and pinch and pull and scratch and scrape it with his cruel little fingers. So I lie there for up to an hour, clutching my chest in self-defense and trying to doze in and out of sleep.  I have a technique where I squash my hand flat against the nummy, kind of like a mammogram.  Ech.  And then he’ll try to use his nails or strong fingertips to pry up my flat hand so he can get at it.  Also, every once in a while, for variety, he’ll reach down and try to maul my bellybutton.  So I have to be quick; I can’t doze off or I will wake up in Great Pain from one of these regions or the other. I do hate it.  I don’t want to stop nursing him, but I want to somehow train him – quickly! – to be more gentle.  I don’t know if it’s possible at this stage, though. So here...

Sad, sick, or just… really LAZY???