Adventures in Mama-Land

Here’s a rhyming riddle: Rosh Hashanah’s almost here: which of my books will you buy this year???!? I know; pretty tacky, right? I’ll be honest; that’s how I feel about marketing my books in general. (disgusted baby © iwishmynamewasmarsha via Flickr ) What’s the secret to self-publishing success??? Don’t bother asking me… I’m told one secret to success in business is not being afraid to ask. So there it is, the ASK. If you’re reading this, we’re connected in some obscure way. And therefore, you or someone you know might really enjoy one of my books, if only you let yourself try. Scroll down for a list you might like! Whenever people find out that I’m a self-publishing writer, they sometimes ask about – gasp – the marketing side of things. Because one of the things that commercial book publishers do pretty well is market and distribute your book. They go through well-trod channels to make sure that sellers, libraries, schools, and other interested folks have a p...

I confess, it’s been a rocky time, writing-wise.  Not that I’m not writing!  Actually, I’m writing more than ever, probably more than most writers do in a lifetime.  The problem is that most of it is your basic blah writing for clients, translating (from Hebrew to English), or essays for school. (Did I mention I’m a full-time grad student???  More about that later…) But somehow, despite having ZERO time to write the things I truly wish I was writing, I seem to have managed to finish not one but TWO book projects, and without further ado – I present… two gorgeous new books: Oma is 100 :  "It's been almost a hundred years since Oma was born, but she doesn't want a party..."  When a young girl’s grandmother decides she's too old for  a birthday party, the simple act of crocheting a blanket teaches them both an important lesson about love, family, and belonging.  This isn’t specifically a Jewish book, in that there are no Hebrew words or references to...

I’ve been posting more lately, here and at my other blogs.  But the short answer about whether I’m really back is… not officially. We’re standing right on the cusp of the 2-year anniversary of when I stopped blogging – July of 2015.  That’s when we flew to Canada and life kicked into high gear in so many ways.  (Or, as I usually put it, “all hell broke loose.”) Essentially, my ongoing attempts to work as a freelancer began taking off the minute we arrived in my mother’s basement in Toronto in July 2015, leading to a flurry of nonstop activity that was good because that, in turn, led to money, but was bad because it took time away from blogging, which I love. Oh, yeah, and my family.  I may be home a lot, but I’m not with my family as often as I’d like. And blogging has had to fall by the wayside.  As clearly it has.  I mean, the stats don’t lie.  Here are numbers for each year of each of my blogs: This blog, Adventures in MamaLand : My aliyah blog, Adv...

Dear Tablet Magazine, I read an article on your site today.  It’s not a common thing, I don’t stop by every day, but as with so much of the great content on your site, I liked the article.  Indeed, I agreed with it, and felt that I – as a Jewish writer of Jewish children’s books - had something to add to the dialogue. That’s why I scrolled down to comment… only to find THIS: And THIS: Commenting Charges!  But I don’t need to tell YOU that, of course.  It was YOUR c̶a̶s̶h̶ ̶c̶o̶w̶  idea. $2 per day.  Ouch. And then I saw THIS – your largely nonsense-based explanation of how there’s so much spam out there that you want to charge me $180 a year for the privilege of adding my text to your site (usually, people pay ME for my content – that’s what being a writer is all about). (Oops – sorry, it’s not a FEE, it’s a commitment to “the cause of great conversation,” as if your site is surely the only place I will be conversing over the next 365 days.) Yo...

Before, I begin, I want to say that there are few people who adore Lego as much as I do.  OK, if you're one of those fans who can tell the difference between a BURP a LUMP and a POOP [ glossary here ], then good for you.  You win. But short of that, well, I adore Lego. REAL Lego. For years, in Toronto, I made a habit of picking up used Lego for the kids at Value Village.  Painstakingly, I'd pick through the sets chucking out any FAKE Lego - all the Megabloks and other imposters, weeding them out like toxins. But here in Israel, Lego is expensive.  Ridiculously expensive.  Like over 100nis for a tiny set that would cost under $10 in the States, and maybe $12-15 in Canada. So, I admit - painfully, reluctantly - I've started buying the fake stuff. It started last summer when I happened to show Gavriel Zev some of the super hero menschies (I know, they're called minifigures – I call them minifigs for short) that were available on AliExpress for 99 cents inst...

One of the great things about the Modern Era is that you can work as a writer in English from anywhere in the world.  The downside is working for a range of clients, all over the world, some of whom – you’d swear – are the laziest human beings that could exist on the planet. If Hashem made them any lazier, they’d simply stop breathing.  Don’t believe me?  Don’t worry; I came prepared with examples. In case you haven’t made its acquaintance yet, Fiverr is a site that connects freelancers and clients around the world.  The premise is simple:  what would you do for five bucks?  In my case, I’ll write 300 words for 5 bucks . Heck, I can write 300 words before I actually start to think about what I’m going to say.  I’ve written 300 words already in this blog post – and I’m just getting started.  (Okay, that’s only 156, but hey, I’m halfway there already.) But on Fiverr, that $5 is just the BOTTOM LINE.  From there, you can charge extra for r...

Should you wear a kippah to your job interview? Well, yes.  In the year 2015, except in some places in the world (most of which don’t speak English), if you're a person who wears a kippah, you shouldn't NOT wear it if you're going to a job interview.  I mean, who would do that? When I saw a book called Can I Wear My Kippah on Job Interviews?: Career Guidance for Sabbath Observant Jewish Professionals from two authors who have built a business creating business- and employment-consulting books, it caught my attention right away (which I think is the point of the title).  I eagerly requested a review copy, and the author, Lavie Margolin sent one along. First of all, the book isn’t really about wearing a kippah or not. I quickly came to the conclusion that the cover question is mainly an attention-getting trick.  The Margolins never advise removing your kippah for a job interview – perhaps because they know that that would alienate too many readers.  (At one ...

Have you ever had the feeling that you’ve finally figured everything out? And then… something happens and you realize – nope.  You never had it figured out in the first place. Like daycare.  Daycare was a struggle.  Staying on top of the fees, bringing in clothes, diapers, supplies, whatever the kids needed.  You probably think I’m a big whiner when I say that, but hear me out:  I was a new mommy, a single mommy, a working mommy.  It was tough getting all my stuff together. I actually remember the moment when it all clicked.  I was standing in the principal’s office chatting with her.  I’d had kids there for maybe four years, and seen her almost every day since then.  It’s like what they say about marriage, right?  Sickness, health, good times, bad times, phone calls about money, phone calls about… I don’t know, other stuff.  And I realized there were no outstanding bills, the kids had all they need, I knew their teacher’s na...

Blogging has become disgustingly analytical these days.  If I wanted, I could spend all day gazing at my proverbial naval, looking at statistics, and finding out along the way exactly who you are and what you like and creating content you’ll love. Luckily for you (unluckily for my pocketbook), I’m too cynical for all of that. But I do check my Amazon reports every month to find out who’s clicking on the links I share, and what you’re buying.  That’s because I get a teeny-tiny kickback from Amazon every time you click through.  What do I do with the money?  Sometimes, I buy ebooks, which have become incredibly important since we moved thousands of kilometres away from our favourite library.  And sometimes, if I have enough piled up to buy an actual book, then I buy copies to send reviewers, though sometimes that ends badly .  It isn’t big money, hardly even real money, but it is something, and sometimes, it comes in handy. You should know right off the...

My favourite price in the world:  free.  And my favourite thing in the world:  a kids’ book.  (Yes, one of mine.) Please Like, Share and pass along this deal.  FREE UNTIL AUGUST 14 ONLY! Learn a little about Israel's modern history and its most beloved songwriter in this short kids' chapter book! This week (Aug 10-14), my book "Naomi Shemer: Teaching Israel to Sing" is FREE for Kindle. CLICK HERE TO BUY THE KINDLE VERSION FREE UNTIL AUGUST 14. I started writing this book when my daughter, named after Naomi Shemer, was a baby… but only finished it last year, when she was 8.  A long time in the making, but I think it’s worth every second.  (And I loved reading it to her and telling her about the amazing lady for whom she’s named. Acclaimed in her lifetime as the "First Lady of Israeli Song" and the author of unforgettable classics like Jerusalem of Gold (Yerushalayim shel Zahav), Naomi Shemer is almost unknown in the English-speaking world. With...

The headlines circulating on facebook are the nightmare of every homeschooling family: “A homebirthing, homeschooling, non vacinating, kosher family ripped apart by Local Law Enforcement and CPS without lawful charges.”  Eep. That’s bad, right??? But something in that term “kosher family” prompted me to dig a little. What does that mean, a “kosher family?”  Were Erica Michelle Henderson and Jeffrey Henderson actually hiding something? The Hendersons’ own appeal-for-money-and-sympathy website says her breast milk must be tested for alchohol as " she drinks on Shabbat, a Jewish religious day." Another site , discussing the family’s first visit with their kids in 2 years, says, “The announcement of the visit was made on Friday, to which Mrs. Henderson said, “Baruch Hashem!” which in Hebrew means “Blessed be the name of the Lord!” Today began the Jewish festival of Passover, celebrated to mark the release of the Israelites from bondage in Egypt.” Why doesn’t it just come ou...

I have just shifted a bunch of books from Lulu to Amazon, as well as making a couple of new ones available that were sitting in the “almost ready to go live” hopper. They all have “Look Inside!” enabled, but the last two are newly added, and will take a couple of days to get fully set up… These last two are the same book in two different versions.  The “ Hashem Never Forgets ” version is geared towards observant Jewish families, while “ After a Thousand Years ” is religiously neutral, for Jewish or non-Jewish families.  The only changes, beyond using the term Hashem, are that the girl is named Faigy (not Andrea), the grandfather is referred to as Zeidy (not Grandpa), and a reference to her going to university is changed to seminary (not that I’m against university, but since my daughter’s heading to sem next year (before university), I thought I’d include it as a worthwhile endeavour for a young girl!). I do have a couple more projects with art on the go.  They will ...

I won’t go on at length, because my blog is “niche” enough already, but I have been dreading signing up to self-publish on CreateSpace (an Amazon company) because I’d heard that they withhold tax at a rate of 30% for foreign people.  (Apparently, Canada is foreign.) There is a way around this, CreateSpace will tell you .  First, you need to get an officially certified copy of your passport, which is not the same as a notarized copy because it will cost you a lot more.  Then, you submit them (or the original passport – ha ha ha) with a bunch of other paperwork, including a letter from your prospective “employer”, to the IRS to eventually, someday, get an ITIN – taxpayer identification number.  You can do this the slow-boat way by mail or submit it – for another fee – to a certified “receiver” company in your foreign location.  Either way, once you have your ITIN, you just submit a form to CreateSpace telling them not to keep your money or give it to the IRS… sim...

...how people get ahead, really.  Industrious bunnies who work hard and pay tuitions and bills on time and live happy lives.  I don't know how to be that person; I've never figured it out. I told the kids I was stupid when I was 18 and have never recovered, financially, and I think that's probably true.  Living hand-to-mouth, having kids right out of university without any kind of financial plan - or, ahem, job - divorcing without any kind of financial plan, and then just faking it and coasting on a wing and some prayers through 13 years of pretty expensive education.  The wealthiest I have been in my entire adult life is when I was a single mother, earning a nice salary at software companies, with kids in subsidized daycare.  Things were scary then, too, but at least the money theoretically stretched from end to end of each month. "When my parents were my age," I used to say, "they'd bought a house already.  They had jobs, two cars, kids in the suburbs....

Well, for a change, this bill may actually not be my fault, but I promised my mother I’d get to the bottom of it anyway.  Recently, she got a collection letter for $70-something from 407 ETR, the nice folks who run a little toll highway just north of the city.  We do use this highway from time to time, but not often, and since I do all my banking online, I quickly verified that I had paid any bills we’d received in, oh, say, the last four years since my father died and my mother took over the bills. So I emailed them through their website and they replied that the charge was indeed legitimate, from a second account that was no longer active… and for which we had not received a bill in anyone’s living memory.  And $70 is a LOT of money, given that each trip on this little highway costs under $10. Then I went online and punched in the (inactive) account number, and discovered… this (rather badly cut n’ pasted together): You read that right (if your eyes are good enou...