Adventures in Mama-Land

Even in Canada, I knew there were two ways of saying a person died: מת/ meit and נפטר/ niftar . In general, religious people use niftar, even when speaking English – it’s the more polite way of saying it, like “passed away.” But when my father died, eleven years ago tomorrow, and a taxi came to take me to the airport, I told the driver we were hurrying because I had to get back to Toronto because “ abba sheli meit .” There are lots of words you use in religious life that aren’t used so much in contemporary Israeli Hebrew, and so I was just taking a stab at the best possible way of saying it. But Israel being Israel, the cab driver decided it was time for a grammar lesson. “ Niftar . We say he was niftar .” Boy, did I know. (And also – is it my imagination, or only in Israel would a cab driver have the chutzpah correct someone who has just told you their father has died minutes before… ?!) These days, I have a habit that makes my 14-year-old daughter (“I’m basically 15”) cringe: tel...

Have you ever had the feeling that you completely belong someplace? Before we left Toronto, I got to go to the Torah homeschooling conference twice.  And the biggest thing I felt, both times I walked through the door of the Jewish Community Center in Baltimore for the conference, was "Here I am."  Not JUST me, but people like me.  My tribe. "Finding your tribe" is a popular expression that goes back maybe about a decade.  I have no clue where it comes from, or who coined it, and if you know more than I do, I'd be happy to find out.  Google isn't showing me any references before 2012, but that's because Google, like most of us, is entirely now-oriented. Finding your tribe is a primal thing, locating the people you click with and clicking.  It's about what Kurt Vonnegut called

Are you a frequent flier?  If you’re like me, you probably said you aren’t. But don’t you deserve to be comfy anyway??? I’ve never thought of myself as a frequent flier.  Given that I’ve travelled exactly TWICE this year, probably nobody would.  But since moving to Israel, travel has definitely entered the picture in a bigger way than before.  And really, does it matter how often you’re travelling?  Even travelling once, if it’s a 12-16 hour stretch like our trips back to Canada, is about 12-16 hours too much if you’re uncomfortable… am I right? Here’s the secret airlines won’t tell you:  you DESERVE to be comfy. I’m always fascinated by gadgets that have been created to try to make the journey more comfortable.  Here are ten travel accessory gadgets that may inspire you as you go wherever it is you find yourself on the face of this big, amazing globe: 1. The SOARIGAMI – armrest sharing device It looks like origami, or like some kind of airmail paper ...

Know what this crazy world needs?  A better way to look dorky on airplanes. Okay, actually, not planes, but buses.  I travel by bus more often than I like to admit, and it's tough getting comfy on those long hauls.  I've tried bunching up a sweater against the window, I've tried a standard-issue "travel" neck pillow (on planes, not buses), I've tried just grinning and bearing it. And let's face it, sleeping while you're travelling is terrible.  And it is also one of the biggest missed opportunities I can think of.  Two hours with nobody needing me for anything?  No chance to do work, except for the occasional text or email?  (When I go by train, I usually use the whole time to get work done, but bus = sleepytime, as far as I’m concerned… sleepytime WASTED because I’m so uncomfortable!) With so much serious stuff going on in the world, I felt that what was needed was a hard-hitting investigation into ten of the newest and most amazing ways I can mak...

There’s a feeling when you’re crocheting and your yarn gets tangled.  Even if you don’t crochet, you’ve probably felt something like this.  A moment when everything mounts into impossibility and you want to scream and give up. I’m sure you’ve felt something like that. It’s a feeling of frustration.  You just want to stash the entire project.  It’s a feeling of disgust.  You never want to look at it again.  It’s a feeling of pointlessness.  Snipping the yarn would be both so easy and so wrong. But more than that, it’s a feeling that you’re all alone in the world. It’s your ball of yarn.  It’s your crochet project.  And it’s your snarl. Ultimately, nobody cares if you untangle it or not.  How depressing is that? If I stashed the project – no-one would know. If I threw it away – I doubt anyone would notice. If I snipped the yarn and carried on past the tangle – for sure, nobody but me would know about that. But it’s a tangle, and ...

Here in our last 24 hours in Toronto, I am living out the mashal of the fish and the diamonds. Maybe you've heard this mashal (parable)?  For sure, my kids have: many, many times. In the story, a man leaves his home, somewhere normal in Europe, and sets sail to seek his fortune in some exotic island, perhaps near Africa, where it is rumoured that the streets are paved with diamonds. He arrives at the island, and discovers that the rumours are TRUE.  Diamonds are everywhere!  He scoops them up to fill his pockets and rushes into a restaurant to order a lunch fit for a king.  Of course, he discovers when he goes to pay with the diamonds at the end of the meal, that they are utterly worthless on the island.  What the restaurant wants in payment is... fish.  Bleakly, he wanders from store to store, discovering that the only currency anyone will accept is fish. (Don't ask why; this is not the most realistic story, okay?) So, okay.  The guy stashes th...

Just shlumped down at the table late last night, procrastinating, and pressed a button – almost at random - on my Blackberry Playbook , only to discover… a kid!!!  Elisheva has one too, and was sitting in the basement of her grandmother’s house in Calgary, chatting with her friends when I accidentally called her. That is a very cool thing, and gives me a lot of hope for the future of communicating with my family.  I totally love the Playbook, by the way.  Mine is 16gb, an older model, which I bought “used” but never opened on Craigslist back in January.  I wanted something super-portable that I could take with us on our pilot trip and beyond.  It came with this nifty little case which a) protects it, and b) includes a stupid little Bluetooth keyboard that turns it into the World’s Tiniest and Stupidest-Keyboarded Laptop.  I don’t use the keyboard much, though I did for emailing the family and my blog while we were in Israel. It has WiFi and also built-in...

So this is a whirlwind of impressions from the last whirlwind 5 days of travel…  I just want to get some thoughts down before Life gets in the way.  First of all, if you’re visiting this blog for the first time and met me at the conference… Hi!  I apologize to everybody; I was operating at 40% of my normal energy level for most of the weekend, and I hope it didn’t show too badly. In chronological order… here are my memories of the weekend: - Friday, erev Shabbos:  Arrive late due to bus driver malfunction (he had to be hauled off in an ambulance).  By the time we get to Baltimore, I am sick and miserable and exhausted with what is perhaps the worst headache of my life (partly due to caffeine deprivation but mainly not).  Meet blog-world friend Michelle , who I’ve seen at the last 2 conferences.  This year, she brought her daughter, Froggy (not her real name, though it would be cute), aged 7 (almost 8), and she and Naomi tentatively meet each other....

ok, so I'm going a little nuts out here in the wilderness... crocheting like crazy, yay!  there is something so snug and cozy about sitting her bundled up in my cottage while the kids make mudpies with ted on the dock.

This is the time of year I jokingly refer to as our “semi-empty nest.”  The big kids are in Calgary visiting family, and we are left with a taste of what it would be like to be a totally different family – a fairly predictable life with two kids, no schools, nobody popping in and out of the house.  This period when they usually comes after several crazy unpredictable summer weeks, and this year has been the most crazy and unpredictable of all, with big kids running in and out of the house, up to all kinds of big-kid shenanigans, at all hours of the day and night.  Literally, at any moment if we’re trying to do school or have rests or anything, the door could open with a big kid bursting in, perhaps happy and calm; or perhaps, agitated, angry and shouting.  And there is always money:  they constantly need money, infusions of cash or arguments about money or debates about who owed what to whom and when. So when they go away, it’s a bit of a release.  A bit...

It strikes me as amazing, somehow, to have spent the better part of a weekend hunting for kosher food – if not non-stop, at least somewhat preoccupiedly.  And then, this evening, just as I was almost ready to get supper on the table (hot & sour soup a la David Chu’s Bistro and some really nice garden chive mushu pancakes ), my mother called and said “Can you put it away?  I want to take you all out to Bistro Grande !” So we walked to my mother’s – a leisurely <5 minutes with cool breezes wafting us along.  And then, with my mother, walked through the park to the restaurant, maybe 10 minutes. No hunting, no searching, no wondering where our next meal was coming from.  Even if you’re not actively hungry, when you’re a kosher-eater, you’re kind of always wondering where you’re going to eat next.  At least I do.  I figure, if you don’t eat kosher, you can find something almost anywhere… but if you are, and you want more than a chocolate bar or bag of c...

Yes!  We’re on our way!!!  (for reference, here’s the planned itinerary I made up before we left)   Okay, those are still in Toronto.  Fast-forward 12 hours and here we are in downtown Washington, DC!  Walking around, searching for lunch. YM spots a familiar statue, which he claims is The Spirit of Haida Gwaii, from the $20 bill.  I am skeptical - “never seen that before in my life, and what would it be doing in the middle of Washington, DC?”   Turns out the building is the Canadian embassy.  Doh!  Smart boy! Stop for prepackaged wraps from Wrap 2 Go at Georgetown University Law Center [sic – sorry, that’s really how they spell it!].  Lots of variety, but something must have happened with the lettuce: one salad looked too slimy for Elisheva’s taste, YM found mold on his lettuce, and mine just tasted way, WAY off despite the staff’s insistence that they were fresh that morning and fridged the whole time.  Apart from that, Mrs...