And a gruesome thought

From earlier, as I was making soup in the kitchen, sending Ted off to bed because he's had a sniffle the past couple of days.

Assuming we stay together forever, something really terrible, god-awful, miserable is going to happen to at least one of us during that time. Maybe both.

Sure, there are always old couples who make it to retirement and get lots of lovely time together sitting on park benches and gazing into sunsets. Are we them?

I thought my parents would be them.

Once, late last fall, when I saw an older couple out walking around the neighbourhood. They looked a bit like my parents, from behind, so I turned to get a better look, and then realized it would never be my parents again. Same with bike bells; they stopped being my father and started being a really lonely sound.

Everybody loses their parents; this is the natural order, right?

I feel morbidly preoccupied thinking about this after so long (almost 9 months).

When will this gloomy fog lift???

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