Just ARGH.
This one is the WORST!!!  I hate writing this stupid apples-and-oranges article.
"Shmuli has a tiny hole in the wall where he happily sells kugel with a smile.  Clarence has a 1000-person dining hall where red snapper and 'beggars-purse' crepes are plated by hundreds of trained sommeliers who dance and curtsy at your every whim.  Take your pick:  it's all GREAT kosher eatin'!!!"

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