Have you ever had the feeling that you’ve finally figured everything out?
And then… something happens and you realize – nope. You never had it figured out in the first place.
Like daycare. Daycare was a struggle. Staying on top of the fees, bringing in clothes, diapers, supplies, whatever the kids needed.
You probably think I’m a big whiner when I say that, but hear me out: I was a new mommy, a single mommy, a working mommy. It was tough getting all my stuff together.
I actually remember the moment when it all clicked.
I was standing in the principal’s office chatting with her. I’d had kids there for maybe four years, and seen her almost every day since then. It’s like what they say about marriage, right? Sickness, health, good times, bad times, phone calls about money, phone calls about… I don’t know, other stuff. And I realized there were no outstanding bills, the kids had all they need, I knew their teacher’s names, everyone was healthy and our routine ticked like clockwork.
I’d stuck with it and matured, grown up into a mama who was not just okay at the daycare routine – I totally ROCKED the daycare routine.
And then Elisheva Chaya graduated. Daycare over… check.
Elementary school… ditto. First one school, then another, learning the ropes, figuring out through trial and error how to interact with the teachers, how to get what the kids needed, how to help out in various useful volunteery ways, how to chat with the other parents during pickups and dropoffs.
It was all finally going so smoothly until one day… we were done with elementary school.
And then high school, more trial and error… mostly error. Not asking the questions, not having the stuff they needed, the books and uniforms and pencils all pointy, lined up in a row, not being prepared enough for parent-teacher interviews (forgetting which teacher taught what…).
A moment too late, or perhaps a couple of years or more, it occurs to me that I ought to have done more about the big kids’ university Things. What would I have done? What could I have done? No clue.
When we were still in Canada, we met YM’s girlfriend’s parents, who were busy hauling her to various universities all over the country so she could picture herself on different campuses, in different majors. And I thought, “yeah, maybe that’s what we should have done.”