Dear (Kosher) Barbecue Guest

This is a response to a DovBear post kvetching about having been a guest at a neighbour’s 4th of July BBQ.  Summer is a great time to have non-Jewish and non-religious friends and relations, because a barbecue is so perfect – so casual, no pressure (as opposed to Shabbos dinner).

So here are my “host kvetches” in response to DovBear’s “guest kvetches.”

Dear BBQ Guest: 

1) Like beer? Bring it!  Plus something else. Certainly, don't show up empty-handed saying, "I couldn't find anything kosher." (in a city with 20 kosher bakeries, groceries, etc, not to mention countless fruit and veggie stores)
2) Like wine? Us, too! But no, Mogen David doesn't go great at a BBQ. The word "sacramental" is your clue here.  
3) Meat - for sure! I marinated those shish-ka-bobs all day. And with the price of kosher chicken and coconut milk, it wasn't cheap. Say thank you; appreciate it more because we're paying a premium to feed you.  
4) Kosher steak not to your liking? Consider the fact that there were only two packages of steak left in the entire city. We shopped at three stores to find you the best, but this is what there was. Chew quietly, and don't complain.
5) Show up! Don't just NOT EVER show up, like one couple we once planned a BBQ with. We see this couple socially all the time; talk about awkward.

And, of course, be sure to come back soon!!!

p.s. Here’s my basic “Thai” marinade for chicken shishkabobs: coconut milk, cumin, red pepper flakes, cinnamon (just a tiny bit), salt, sugar, pepper, lime juice, fresh ginger & garlic. Vary the quantities to suit your taste (start with a lot of coconut milk and small bits of the rest!) and whir in a blender. Cut up chicken (preferably dark meat) early in the day or the night before and let it soak in the marinade 'till you're ready to make up the skewers. Mmm...