What My Children Learned Today

Geocaching doesn’t work. We went straight to the exact coordinates, I swear! I have a witness; I went with a friend who found out about this cache and everything (screenshot at left indicating that, according to my Playbook, we were within inches of the cache). For a first foray, it sure was discouraging. I figured geocaching was the ultimate in Homeschool Coolery, though describing it to the kids was kind of odd: “we search for a small, disappointing treasure… and then leave it where it is!”
Kite-flying doesn’t work. Actually, this wasn’t a first; I have taught them this lesson a couple of times, I believe. Every fall, I think, “Let’s go fly kites!” I get all excited and build it up and build it up and then finally get outdoors with a kite and… nothing. Boom. No kite-flying. Sort of like science experiments… they works for other people, but not for us. Although today we had friends along and their mama tried and mainly failed to fly a kite as well. So now they know for sure that any kite-flying they see online or in pictures is simply special effects, Photoshop and camera wizardry.
If you play with water, you will get wet. This one’s a good lesson, actually. I have told them many times, this long chilly spring, that it’s too early in the season to play with water; that they’ll just get soaked and then be chilly and miserable. Today, they ventured into the water-play area and found out for themselves. Hurrah!
Asking permission doesn’t work. After picking up my mother’s CSA vegetables at Mega Synagogue Down the Street, we decided to go in and look around. Me, to security guard: "The children are interested in seeing the main sanctuary. Could we go in for a minute to take a look?" Guard: "Well... that's not common." [Huh? who says that??? My first thought when he used the word “common” was - “Asperger’s”] Me: "I'm aware of that." Him: (pause) "How long would you be in there for?" Me: "Just a couple of minutes, um, to look around." Him: "I'll have to check." (gets up, goes and checks) Him: "No, you can't go in... the president is... " (mumble) Me: "Um, okay," turning to leave. "You know, that doesn't seem like a very welcoming policy." Him: (silence)

Wheeeeee! They shoulda called it FUNday… instead of plain old “Tyoozdee”…

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