I have to say, Gavriel Zev is the most SAVAGE nurser I have ever had, and he is not getting any better with age.
He doesn’t bite, but what he does instead is grab the other nummy and pinch and pull and scratch and scrape it with his cruel little fingers.
So I lie there for up to an hour, clutching my chest in self-defense and trying to doze in and out of sleep.
I have a technique where I squash my hand flat against the nummy, kind of like a mammogram. Ech. And then he’ll try to use his nails or strong fingertips to pry up my flat hand so he can get at it. Also, every once in a while, for variety, he’ll reach down and try to maul my bellybutton.
So I have to be quick; I can’t doze off or I will wake up in Great Pain from one of these regions or the other.
I do hate it. I don’t want to stop nursing him, but I want to somehow train him – quickly! – to be more gentle. I don’t know if it’s possible at this stage, though.
So here are the two thoughts I had, at random, while being mauled in my own bed, over the last couple of mornings. I’m warning you, they are totally random.
1) In the UK, you’ll often see ads for things like theatre or other cultural productions, and they’ll say something like £20 full price, £10 “unwaged.” And as an unwaged person, I think that’s amazing. There’s no judgement; I mean, maybe there is when you get to the door, but in the word itself, there’s no indication that you’ve made the wrong choices or that you’re a lazy slob who can’t stay in work. Or a lazy slob who got old and retired. Or a lazy slob who stays home with her kids. We need unwaged rates here… for everything.
2) Restless legs syndrome. This thing nobody had heard of until some drug company invented it as a way to overprescribe their own Parkinson’s medication. I’m no scientist, but could this have anything to do with the massive overconsumption of caffeine in our society??? Um, let’s see… people drink caffeine all day long, and then complain that at night their “legs” are restless? Methinks this smells a bit like a euphemism for: “No part of me can get to sleep… my legs are twitchy and so is my brain: shut it off for me, please!!!”
See? I told you it was random. I was way overcaffeinated before I went to sleep last night, that’s for sure… and when that happens, I wake up still buzzing. Bad. Very bad. Off to plan meals for this coming week, then hopefully crash before the dreaded SECOND WIND kicks in.
Funny: accidentally typed SECOND WINK. I wish. Two out of forty would at least be a start…
Not funny: in three weeks, with Naomi Rivka’s birthday, Gavriel Zev will be my only little nurseling. I’d better start training him to do it right! I also hope he won’t see that Naomi’s stopping and decide that Big Kids Don’t. I really want to nurse him as long as he wants… and I know that could mean stopping before his fifth birthday, but somehow, two doesn’t feel nearly like enough.
Is it because he’s my baby???