Friday, November 06, 2009

Relative Bearing Gifts of Food

So I have this relative... let's keep her anonymous.  This person is in the midst of many changes this year and is also in the process of reconfiguring the home she's lived in for many years.
 
What this seems to means to us is the arrival of GIFTS.  Graciously-offered food gifts of seriously questionable age, provenance and quality which this person determines that she can no longer use - but that she's sure we will snatch up gratefully.
 
Like the big jar of brown rice that a quick sniff confirmed was rancid.
The two bags of last-year-expired popcorn.
And when I went to use the breadcrumbs, well, those are rancid also.
Am I the only one who can - even with this never-ending cold - smell the sharp off-notes of aged oil?
 
It is getting to the point when I want to run the other way when I see this person approaching with a plastic bag of goodies.
 
She gets very offended if we say no.  I turned down some perfectly good powdered coconut a couple of weeks ago.  Ironically, the following week I wanted coconut for something - and didn't have any!  (I have since discovered a freezer full of it)
I'm sure she pictures us starving in the streets for want of a bag of bran.
 
Is this part of a worrisome trend towards battiness?  Or simply a misguided attempt to bless our home with spare food she can no longer use?
We shall see.  Maybe a bit of both.

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