Friday, September 04, 2009

Handled well. Pat on back.

YM comes home on time, asks to go to library. 

Me:  “where’s your note?”

Since Tuesday’s incident, we’re back on signed notes, where a teacher or any other authority has to sign to let me know what time he got to school in the morning and left school in the afternoon.

Anyway, he went to pull out the note, which happened yesterday with no problem.  Today, no note.  Checks other pocket.  No note.

Steam starts pouring out his ears.  I could almost see it.

But he tried.  Almost calmly, but his voice rising a bit, he said, “what happens if I don’t have a note?”

Me:  “then I’ll trust you, because you have never said that before.”

Him:  “well, let me look around for it a bit more; I don’t want to use up my one ‘gimme’ for the year.”

Anyway.  He couldn’t find the note, he stayed for supper, then went to the library, came home more or less on time.

Must remember to remind him of this tomorrow.  He handled it exactly right (asking what happens rather than freaking out and screaming), and I responded with love and trust.

Doesn’t happen often.  Pat pat pat.

I am trying hard to be a bit more demonstrative and cuddly with him.  Not embarrasingly or cloyingly so, but more so than I think I have been.  He needs positives:  as Sarah Chana Radcliffe says, the ratio should be 80:20, and he was probably getting more like 10:90 the other way.

She says to think of moving a bunch of coins from one pocket to another.  You should have more in the “good pocket,” by far, most of the time.  I think she said that.

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