Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Another pat on the back

Here's my Handling Boy Well pat on the back for the day:

(Phone rings at 4:09 p.m. He's calling from yeshiva.)

Boy: "I have a note; can I go straight there?"
Me: "Where?" (I knew where, but I needed time to think)
Boy: "To the library."
Me: "What time will you be home?"
Boy: "6:30."
Me: "Okay. See you later."

Why is this a pat on the back?

Because a) I'm trusting him that he has a note, and b) he didn't freak out and assume that I wouldn't trust him. He started out polite and friendly, and I responded in kind. I really, REALLY want to teach him that instead of panicking ("the worst will happen! I may as well attack first, before that happens!"), he should approach situations calmly and rationally.

And that if he gives the world the benefit of the doubt, maybe good things actually will happen.

Historically, he jumps to the worst possible conclusions and then yells and screams because the worst-case scenario is so very, very bad.

Now, I don't know if I want the straight-to-the-library to become a regular thing or not. I kind of want him to come home, drop off his stuff, get a snack, say hello. IF I don't want him to do it every day from now on, I have to make it clear to him today that it was a one-time thing.

I don't really like the library-every-day routine anyway. BUT I have forbidden gameplaying at home for a number of reasons. And yes, I know it's naive, but I do figure, how much trouble can my almost-15-year-old get into at the library???

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