Friday, July 10, 2009

Crushing like a bug

naomi 001It is almost painful to watch Naomi Rivka going through her crush – slash – idol-worship with various teachers and authority figures in  her life.

She will talk non-stop about them for weeks on end.  She will dress up like they do (as well as she can), lead Circle Time like they do and ask and ask and ask endless inane questions.

And when she sees them, she will smirk and cringe and roll around on her back in some weird courting-type ritual to get their attention.  If spoken to, she’ll either look away with a grin or, if pressed, give a slightly moronic answer in a babytalk voice.  Ugh.  Like I said:  Painful.

This week, she’s been in overdrive because we managed (somehow) to attend five totally different Circle Times, due to my conviction that each Circle Time must do something, must fill a role, contribute something that none of the others can.

Our Circle Times this week:

~ Monday:  morning, Hebrew singing circle at “Kali’s house”; afternoon, Preschool Time at the library with one of Naomi’s #1 idols of all time, Shannon.

~ Tuesday:  mercifully, no circle time!

~ Wednesday:  Baby Time at the library, with a librarian we don’t particularly like.  The kids are both too old for this one, but we needed to do something, and couldn’t make it on Thursday because of…

~ Thursday:  Signing Circle Time – a new addition.  Wonderful, wonderful; we all had fun.  The leader is young and enthusiastic, and has all the makings of a Naomi idol.

~ Friday:  our regular Shabbat Party Circle Time…with Sarah herself!  At $6 each week, I don’t know how regular it will be able to be, going forward.  :-(

So familiar, her tendency to crush, to obsess; to worship.  naomi 002She is me.  I want to warn her not to get too attached, that, as salaried caregivers and Circle-Time leaders and librarians, they will come and go in her life, more like the wrapping on the package than the substance inside. 

Nothing I can do; undoubtedly, she’ll get this for herself.  In the meantime, I fear they will crush her like a bug, her love unrequited, her tentative hopes at reciprocity dashed

I guess I turned out okay.  But she’s so little still.  See how vulnerable???

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