Well, dumb dream last night, really. I dreamed that my father was very sick and we were talking in scandalized whispers about "when he dies." And I woke up thinking how terrible it is that the worst-case scenario in my dream, really the most awful thing that could possibly happen, so awful that we could only talk about it in whispers... has already happened.
Of course, there was other weird stuff going on, too. I noticed a package of processed, sliced ham on the counter of my mother's kitchen. My mother saw me looking at it and said (in the dream!) that she couldn't go on wearing double layers of shirts after he died. I think she was doing that for modesty reasons, maybe because of Elisheva's black shirt underneath her open-necked sweatshirt at the funeral yesterday. And it was all one package she was giving up - kosher, tznius, the whole thing.
Which is funny because she has always dressed pretty much modestly, and she herself took the initiative to make their kitchen kosher... the idea that she would give it up after/because my father died, well; weird.