Adventures in Mama-Land

Once upon a time, there were two brothers. Except they weren't really brothers, were they? No, they were half brothers. And one hated Judaism. Yes, he did.  So much.  So, so much. Well, okay, don't get me wrong.  He was proud to be a Jew. But he hated... Judaism. Kind of, yeah. And the other brother? Half-brother. Yes, him. He came to Israel.  He lived it.  It's a simple story, really. Is it? Yes.  He came to Israel after the war, he had three children here, they had children, and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, without end.  Ayn sof. And the other brother? Half. Yup.  Where did he go? Canada. Did he have children? Oh, yes.  Actually, he also had three. Did they have children? Yes, seven of them.  He had seven grandchildren.  Five great-grandchildren. Are they Jewish?

In this week's parsha, Lech Lecha, Hashem says he'll make Avram's descendents like stars.  We often crow about this – “We're so great,” we say.  “We're just like stars.”  And no wonder.  We get off to a roaring start this week.  You’ll forgive me if I’m thinking about outer space – I just saw the movie The Martian last night, and I think stars are totally awesome right now. But so – obviously – does Hashem. Yet that isn’t the most mindblowing thing about this week’s parsha.  It opens with the most promising beginning, of any story ever told.  Hollywood has nothing on this. Listen to this:  Hashem takes a homeless guy.  Literally.  He’s just been evicted, because he refused to follow the local religion in Ur-Kasdim, where he grew up.  He’s not a young guy, either.  He’s very, very old, and so’s his wife.  They have no children. So Hashem takes this homeless, barren man and makes the two biggest promises of history....

One of the great things about the Modern Era is that you can work as a writer in English from anywhere in the world.  The downside is working for a range of clients, all over the world, some of whom – you’d swear – are the laziest human beings that could exist on the planet. If Hashem made them any lazier, they’d simply stop breathing.  Don’t believe me?  Don’t worry; I came prepared with examples. In case you haven’t made its acquaintance yet, Fiverr is a site that connects freelancers and clients around the world.  The premise is simple:  what would you do for five bucks?  In my case, I’ll write 300 words for 5 bucks . Heck, I can write 300 words before I actually start to think about what I’m going to say.  I’ve written 300 words already in this blog post – and I’m just getting started.  (Okay, that’s only 156, but hey, I’m halfway there already.) But on Fiverr, that $5 is just the BOTTOM LINE.  From there, you can charge extra for r...

Here in our last 24 hours in Toronto, I am living out the mashal of the fish and the diamonds. Maybe you've heard this mashal (parable)?  For sure, my kids have: many, many times. In the story, a man leaves his home, somewhere normal in Europe, and sets sail to seek his fortune in some exotic island, perhaps near Africa, where it is rumoured that the streets are paved with diamonds. He arrives at the island, and discovers that the rumours are TRUE.  Diamonds are everywhere!  He scoops them up to fill his pockets and rushes into a restaurant to order a lunch fit for a king.  Of course, he discovers when he goes to pay with the diamonds at the end of the meal, that they are utterly worthless on the island.  What the restaurant wants in payment is... fish.  Bleakly, he wanders from store to store, discovering that the only currency anyone will accept is fish. (Don't ask why; this is not the most realistic story, okay?) So, okay.  The guy stashes th...

Sitting here in Toronto, the big difference between Israel and the world I grew up in is obvious.  I heard this in a shiur yesterday from Rabbanit Chana Henkin, who said, "There's nothing like water to emphasize the difference between inside and outside Israel." Toronto, in particular, is a deliciously watery place.  Perched on the brink of Lake Ontario, nestled between two (kinda, used-to-be) mighty rivers.  The water here makes me happy.  Sort of. But you know where else had a lot of water? Babylon.  (Again, this is not my idea, it’s Rabbanit Henkin’s; I just wrote it down.)

Do you know what Judaism teaches about reincarnation? Many people are surprised to hear that this is even part of our worldview. I read on Chabad.org that the reason we aren’t aware of previous incarnations is because if we were, we wouldn’t be able to have complete free will. Because of this, learning what Judaism teaches about reincarnation might seem useless, since it has no practical benefit. Also, there’s an idea that these mystical concepts can easily be misunderstood, or carried to misleading conclusions. That, it said, was “why this and similar subjects are only hinted at in scripture.” So what does this all have to do with this week’s parsha? Everything. Because those hints are there, once you start looking for them. This week’s parsha starts with a throwback to last week’s parsha. The parsha is actually named after a guy who did a really brave but slightly shocking thing in last week’s parsha. His name is Pinchas, and he killed a man named Zimri.   Who the heck a...

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be blind? Picture yourself in a world of darkness, groping around, not knowing where - or what - anything is.  Last month, I got to go to the Dialogue in the Dark exhibit at the Israel Children's Museum in Holon.  You're immersed in a darkness so intense you can't see even the outlines of the other people in the room. Our blind superhero You're lost in a hopeless, unsolvable maze.  Are you near a wall, a door?  Are you about to bump into something?  Your only hope is to trust in the skills of your guide, an all-seeing miracle worker who can somehow navigate her way through total darkness. Our guide was Michal.  Michal is blind, but there, in the dark, she was strong.  She knew her way around better than the back of her hand.  She memorized our names and called them out throughout the tour to make sure we didn't get lost.  She warned us about obstacles and coached us to "look" around ourselves wit...